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I want Marty ):

Re-posted from my LiveJournal:
Simple Methods for bettering yourself as a person, other people, and your mental health.

I've recently been trying to talk to people about being more polite on WoW and taking things that would regularly be frustrating with a grain of salt and use the experience to grow, because if you're going to get anything out of playing a video game for hours why not let it be bettering yourself. This is something I've taught to my hard-core Acwellan members and Furcadia followers. It's gained me a lot of respect, and self-respect. Understanding who and what you're frustrated with will help you handle the situation in a more productive manner. On Furcadia theft of my game patches happens regularly, and the thieves are usually guilty as charged but do not fully grasp the concept of Copyright or the consequences of art theft and/or alteration.

I recently had two cases approach me. The first was someone who downloaded my patches from someone who had stolen them and found out after being prosecuted by my friends and/or followers that they were not public. She approached me full ready and expecting for me to be harsh and uncivil. When she discovered that I was calm and understanding she was relieved. I let her keep the patch as a reward for her courage and she often returns to me to purchase patches. The second case was someone I had on my Hall of Shame page for stealing and altering my patches without permission. This player had/has a large reputation of doing such. She recently approached me riddled with guilt and offering me money in exchange for my forgiveness and to remove her name from the list. I told her that I generally don't like to hold bitterness towards the past and that I would not accept her money but in exchange for forgiveness I asked her to hang out in my Dream and be my friend. The merciful are honored.

Even things from trying to write more eloquently or structuring a sentence more helpfully for those you speak to rather than defensive and offensive, or detached neutrality which could be taken the wrong way are good ideas. Even typing with proper English rather than Netspeak. It's simple exercise for your mind that will make you brighter and get a sense of satisfaction from it, and probably gain you a more healthy version of respect from peers. You get the same gratification from being a mentor or helping hand that you get from giving a gift rather than receiving one.

1. Remember, this is like any other art/talent/skill. Dealing with burdensome situations takes a bit of effort, patience, time, and self-control. It may not seem like it pays off all the time either--but the truth is that it does every time and it isn't always apparent immediately. It's healthy for you, and everyone around you who is watching and/or dealing with you. Taking good care of your mind and mental health is just as important as taking care of your body. All-in-all this practice will make you feel better about yourself, as your peers will follow your example and be better people for it. Also remember that there is always going to be people younger than you and/or less experienced in life and/or wisdom who will, even unintentionally, look to you as a role-model for some situations--even people you wouldn't expect to. There will always be someone who can learn something from you.

2. Learn as much about the person and/or situation you're dealing with before acting to earn a sense of understanding and perhaps sympathy. Remember, sympathy doesn't have to mean acceptance, or even tolerance. Try to understand where they're coming from, stand in their shoes, and/or try to think as they do and/or analyze their way of thinking. Everybody thinks differently, and because our thoughts can be deep and complex you have to remember that nobody's thought process can match yours exactly. Failing to remind yourself that not everyone thinks as you do can generate a lot of anger and frustration towards the person/situation because you expect the person/situation to react as you do. Failing to remind yourself is also a subtle form of disrespect because you are unintentionally (or perhaps intentionally) degrading the person/situation with your lack of understanding of said persons and you're probably thinking along the lines of "Those guys are stupid." So--prevent yourself from generating said anger/frustration by taking a moment to understand. It's better for your mental health.

3. Take the time to think about the most positive way to handle the person/situation. Keep in mind that quality is better than speediness. Reacting prematurely or bluntly, or with detached neutrality is a bad idea. There are going to be several obvious wrong ways, some vague wrong ways, some okay-good ways that you'll probably produce first, and some excellent ways. If you took the time to follow step 2 as best as possible some of the very bad approaches will probably already be out of the way. These bad approaches are usually generated by anger and frustration. Rid yourself of the two and you'll have an easier time. Some of the not-so-good approaches will be generated by detachment for your fellow human being. While neutrality can work in some situations it's not always appropriate. Avoid this as it's the lazy way out. It can often be too blunt which can lead to misunderstanding or distancing of your followers' comfort level with you which will either create a nervous reaction from them or a bitterness--either outcome is hurtful to your progress and will be a barrier to break through should you later try a more appropriate tactic. It may seem like it takes a few extra seconds to produce the best approach, but with practice it will come more naturally.

4. When it comes time to take action try to structure your sentences in a way that is clear and sensitive to the point where it wont be taken the wrong way. There are different sides and levels to how your words can be taken the wrong way. You could be over assertive and cause those you're talking to become defensive to protect themselves. You could structure a sentence that you think is being helpful and the person you're talking to could feel as if you're patronizing them or being condescending, and again, become defensive. You could be over submissive making others fail to fully respect what you're saying, and if not instantly, will take you less seriously if you continue to talk to them in that manner. These factors make this step extremely difficult, and when you're pressed for time you will probably be most inclined to fall back on bluntness, which, truly, even if you don't mean to be, is rude--and rudeness is bad for your mental health and that of those around you. If you're pressed for time choose the first polite construction you can and/or take the time later to fully explain exactly what you meant and that you're not actually a dick-head.

-"Do this, please." Is not a good option as the construction, when read over the internet, has an air of sarcasm and will, more likely than not, be taken as such. "Please do this." Is demanding and not affective on a dominate and/or assertive person who will be offended by your authority. Adding a few words to soften your sentence, though will take you a couple of extra split seconds to come up with, will be more affective. "(Name), could/will you do this (for me)?" Leaving out please which could be read as sarcasm over the internet, adding the name which brings it on a more friendly/personal level, and putting it in question form creates a positive reaction. Adding "for me" may or may not work depending on the person you're talking to. Remember that everyone is different so you must react in a way that fits their needs. You'll do this better if you have grasped step 2.
-Try to avoid using "you" when you can as it sounds accusatory. Even if you are being accusatory, there are less harsh sounding ways to construct your thoughts. Instead try to use "I" and "Me" so that your focus is on yourself and not the other person(s) which will be less likely to lead to a defensive reaction. "It would help you if you stopped doing that." would more affectively be put "I think it would be more beneficial for you to avoid doing that." Notice the singular "you", the inserted "I", the "would" which makes it softer and less of a demand, and the use of "beneficial" which is more eloquent and sells your opinion as an intelligent one worthy of consideration making you worthy of respect, and the use of "avoid" rather than "stop" which is less demanding and sounds less like you're accusing him/her of a mistake, which would lower self-esteem and create negative results such as nervousness and/or bitterness.

5. Wait for a reaction. Use this reaction to help you learn more about the situation/person so that your follow-up is appropriate and return to step 3, and keep in mind step 1. If you do not have a good grasp of step 2 you will not be able to execute this technique effectively, and you will not be able to benefit from the state of mind it puts you in nor the mental health.

6. Never give up. Conquering a battle is the only way to gain strength.

7. Remember, prevent anger and frustration, don't bottle it up or it will explode and do the opposite of the positive approach you're trying to take--Or you may find yourself taking out your frustrations on someone/something else. Your frustrations will hopefully be relieved when you have worked through the problems or situations, and if not, make it your next step to find a healthy outlet that works for you and your mental health.

Why should you?

"There is little point in living if you don't live to change the world for the better." -Randell Fain

Step 1 to making a better world: Making the people who determine the world's future better people.

Feel free to re-post this crap somewhere else. Just let me know where so I can see :3

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I want Marty ):

Will somebody commission me for a $10 rough sketch like this: [link] ): I has not time to do multiple but I want some spending monies -broke nao-

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just 1.:

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Contact me via email if interested: tiamat [at] dragonsoulgallery.com

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I WANT A KIWI FOR LIFE )8<

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